Overwhelmed

I'm not allowed to use the word "stressed"...

But here's a snapshot of my life this week:

I work three days a week in a government agency. I like it, but enough said about that.

I work 6 hours every Saturday delivering mail. It's the longest job I've held in this town - probably because it's pretty much straight forward and there's nothing to improve, and also because I don't have to deal much with anyone else, and the world won't stop turning if a little mistake is made. Thank God!

Last week and this week, I'm subbing in the Education Dept. of a minimum security prison that houses 400 men. Now there is a position where you always need to be on guard, be aware of how you dress, and be careful what and how you say things. Oh yeah, and the big, heavy door makes a very loud Click when you walk through to the yard. But hey - I'm carrying a radio!

I'm finishing up 11 credits of college classes this week. I'm pretty sure I'll end with an average of over 94% in all three. No easy piece of cake there.

This Saturday afternoon is graduation at our local high school. I've been invited by several kids - friends of my sons. Then I'm making brownies and bringing chips to an all-night-grad-party, and chaperoning from 1am to 3am.

I have a type of fund-raising Skype Party going on at the local pizza hangout this Thursday for my youngest son who is currently in Sweden. He's been there 10 months and will be coming home in July. I got some of the flyers out, but not all. I hope to get some smaller ones to his friend to pass around at school tomorrow. I should have gotten an article written up for the local newspaper about it, but it's too late now for Wednesday's edition. Rats! Should be fun though for friends to see and talk with him on the computer.

This past month our family dog took a turn for the worse with her cancer, and I watched my older son deal with it in a type of withdrawing manner. She passed away this past Saturday night, we were with her, but I feel a physical heaviness with the guilt of not finding her sickness sooner, and maybe not petting her as often as she wanted... which was like, ALL the time. She was only 6, about half the time we expected her to be in our family. The house feels empty and I am still watching/worrying about my son.

My mother wants to know why I haven't taken the checks she sent in the Easter cards to the bank yet, and tomorrow is the first of June, and it's currently hailing outside.

Welcome to my neck of the woods :)

Contemplation

Of a life lived.

Was it good? Could it have been better? Or maybe worse. Could I have made it any different?

Did I make the most of every moment? Do I have regrets?

Did I show the ones I loved how much they meant to me? Did they, in return, feel they could show me how much they cared?

Did I play enough? Laugh often? Did I just let loose and go for the gusto?

Am I ready to move on? Do I wonder why I couldn't have just a little more time...


Cinnamon sat under the pine tree almost all day on Saturday, May 28th. I tried to coax her in, but she wasn't having any of it, despite the wind and snow flurries. I tried to give her some space. She seemed to be Looking Forward, yet still contemplating what was being left behind.

I have learned a lot watching her the past three weeks. She took a turn for the worse, and was never quite up to snuff as she had been. Getting up was difficult, her walking labored, yet her heart wanted to go out for a walk. We went out - but just two houses up and back - it was enough.

Growing old, or being sick, sucks. The heart still yearns to soar, but the body does not cooperate. How many years do I have left before I am feeling as she was Saturday afternoon, and asking those questions of myself?


Rest in Peace
Cinnamon Taffy Twist
born January 31, 2005
passed May 29, 2011
May there be lots of bunnies to chase,
and bunches of snacks to snarf
wherever you may be.
You were loved,
You will be remembered,
and you are very much missed already.

Happy Trails, Girlfriend!

Get Ready

OK, so there's been this guy, Harold Camping,

who evidently has been preaching for many years on his Family Radio that the world is going to end on May 21, 2011. (Honestly, it's the first time I've heard of it, so I don't think they got the word out very well. They didn't give me much time to make preparations!) He claims this day is exactly 7,000 years from the day the animals stepped onto Noah's Ark. He says Jesus will return to Earth and save his believers. The unrepentant sinners among us will be the victims of a massive earthquake that will start in New Zealand and spread across the world until it reaches the United States about 6 p.m. Unlucky survivors will perish six months later on October 21, when God destroys the Earth with fire.

Really?

Well, if this is the end of the world, I have just enough time to meet it with a shower, squeaky clean hair, and we're going out for Mexican food tonight!

I'm ready - how about you?

Yep

indeed-a-reenie...

THIS is what "head-butting with someone in PE where you get your cheekbone broken and your eye socket shattered" looks like!

It's also "I get to miss the State Finals track meet this weekend!"

Surgery is scheduled for Monday. Poor kid! ;(

Now we know

We're having weird weather here - snow in the middle of May and cold than usual air temps. Are you having weird weather? I think everyone is having weird weather! Those poor people in the south now have to be wary of thunder storms! Glad we don't live in Denham Springs anymore.

Anyway, Betty, a character in our town (side note: You know that kind of person? Every town has at least a couple. Someone just a little different. Interesting enough though.) came knocking on my door on Sunday afternoon, and asked if I had any cans. I did, so I gave her a couple of cans. She didn't say thank-you. It was cold with a strong wind coming from the South, and Betty had a hat and gloves but I asked her if she was warm enough, and she said yes. Then I commented that it sure was a cold Spring, and she told me, "Ever since they found that crack in the glacier." I asked, "Really? I hadn't heard about that." She said, "They found a crack in the glacier and it's been colder ever since," and then she walked away.

So there you have it. If you were wondering what was going on with your weather, now we know!

I did google "crack in glacier" and found two very interesting articles:

A huge island of ice, 4 times the size of Manhattan broke off of the Petermann Glacier in Greenland last year in August.

http://www.treehugger.com/files/2010/08/petermann-glacier.php

and last year a 60-mile-long iceberg collided with the Mertz Glacier in East Antarctica, causing a section of the glacier to crack off into the Southern Ocean. They found a very interesting ecosystem and explain the problem of desalizination.

http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/stories/hidden-ecosystem-discovered-after-huge-crack-forms-in-ant

I don't know if Betty is right or not, but it looks like we're getting it on both ends from Mother Nature!

:)

The New Robfather?

Could Boston Rob possibly be replaced in Survivor history? By the Beninator?

Stayed tuned: Same Bat time, same Bat channel !!

ASB Update

Gabe is on ASB!! (Associated Student Body) Marissa is President, so he is serving along with Jolee and Marisol to make up the four person cabinet. GO HONKERS!!

Vote GABE for ASB !!

To Release, or Not to Release... that is the question.

What does this whole deal about whether to release the photos of bin Laden say about our society today?  I'm not a sociology major, but I bet there will be a ton of term papers written about this situation at the end of this quarter in that discipline.

First, I find that no one seems to believe the government anymore.  No matter what they say, people don't believe them.  Have we ever believed them?  I think there may have once been a time in our history when we did.  But not anymore.  I think there have been too many various cover-ups over the years, where then some truth pops out and exposes the whole foray.

The fact that the photos haven't been leaked already does say something very significant about the people in charge of the mission:  they evidently don't have a Facebook account.

There are plenty of photos around the internet of the innocent dead: the Killing Fields, Jones Town, Dauchau.  And plenty of the notorious dead:  the guys at the OK Corral, Baby Face Nelson and even the viral video of Saddam Hussein's hanging.  So it's not like the public hasn't seen death.

At one time, a picture was proof, it was "worth a thousand words"... but not since the Average Joe became proficient in PhotoShop.  (Who doesn't recall of pic of the smiling tourist on the top of the Twin Tower with a plane headed right toward him?)  No, no one even believes a photograph anymore.  In fact, a fake pic of bin Laden was virally circulated just hours after the world received the news.

So really, what would be the point to release it?  I think none.  Because it would not be believed by the skeptics anyway.

And not to release it?  A government official familiar with intelligence matters said deliberations are leaning toward a release, but emphasized that the decision "isn't unanimous and everyone has understandable hesitation."  Yes, I would lean more toward these hesitations, assuming that a photo would only incite his devoted followers to more atrocities.

I believe the real truth of Usama bin Laden's death will be realized when we don't hear from him ever again.  He is too egotistical to allow the United States to get away with such a claim that he'd been killed, even if it meant putting his own life and his family's in the greater jepardy of being found.  If he were around, he would still want to wield what power he had because he still has followers, unlike Edi Amin whose supporters and associates had mutineed, and he exiled from Uganda, defeated, in 1979, never really to be heard from again in global proportion. He later died in Saudia Arabia in 2003 from liver failure. 

Bin Laden will certainly make his presense known if he is still alive.

So, we shall see, one way or another.

S.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/05/03/bin.laden.photo/index.html


Later in this day, it was reported that President Obama has decided NOT to release bin Laden's death photo.

"It is important for us to make sure that very graphic photos of somebody who was shot in the head are not floating around as an incitement to additional violence or as a propaganda tool. That's not who we are. We don’t trot out this stuff as trophies," Obama told CBS News, according to White House spokesman Jay Carney.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42900991/ns/world_news-death_of_bin_laden/?GT1=43001

I believe it is a good decision.  S.

Buried

I am discovering that school is an emotional thing for me.  I guess most things in my life are: the dishes, housecleaning, scrapbooking.  I have to "feel it" to get it done.  If I don't feel emotionally into it, then I can't get into it and I put it off.  Unless I'm up against a deadline, then I can stay up all night if I have to, to accomplish the project.

I am currently behind on my stuff for my classes, but am also battling emotions at home because our dog has taken a turn for the worse.  I'm so overwhelmed that I just want to sleep.  But I'm not sleeping well, so I'm always tired and my brain is a jumble and I can't concentrate on the reading I need to do...  and it's just a vicious circle because then that drains me emotionally and I don't want to do anything!  Can't wait for this quarter to be done with!  Am not sure I'm going to survive.  Never again am I taking three classes!

Spontaneous

This really surprised me, that people would come out and congregate together in celebration.

In front of the White House, chants of "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" filled the night air, and the quickly growing group spontaneously broke into an off-key rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner."

In New York, a cheering crowd gathered at Ground Zero -- the site where the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center once stood. Strains of "God Bless America" could be heard intermittently trickling through the crowd.

I was on the West Coast in September 2011, and somehow, even though the shock of 9/11 hit us, I think we were a little protected from it.

Let us never forget.

 It has defined a generation.